


Learning to Live

by DreamyCloud1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Denial, Depression, Harry is sad, Major Depression, Other, They all died, barganings, dabda, dumbledore died, really sad, sad!fic, sadfic, stages of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6803674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamyCloud1/pseuds/DreamyCloud1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Battle of Hogwarts is over. Harry has to learn to come to terms with his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to Live

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Knives4bullets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knives4bullets/gifts).



> A reeeeeaaally short story of Harry's stages of grief after the Battle of Hogwarts.

No. This can't be it. It couldn't actually be true.. Could it? A million thoughts were running through Harry's head as he fell back onto the steps of Hogwarts. Voldemort was dead, but that wasn't all. Dumbledore, Remus, Fred, Tonks, even Snape. Not to mention the countless other students who's bodies lay scattered across the ground. Even as he saw the bodies Harry knew there was no way these were actually dead people. This had to be some type of cruel, cruel, prank that Ron and Hermione was playing on him.   
Harry's arms and legs felt numb as he walked. He didn't have a destination in his mind yet somehow still ended up at the body of Fred. As he walked some gave him half-hearted pats on the back while others didn't speak at all. That was okay with Harry, because he knew that this was just another day at school.

The thing is, it wasn't. He knew that as he came upon the body of Fred Weasley. Seeing the blood that was still fresh covering the cloth they had put over him ignited something in Harry. Suddenly he was so angry at Fred, at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, at Ron. The words poured out of him all at once and Harry did nothing to stop it. "WHY YOU BASTARDS? ARE YOU ALL REALLY SO PATHETIC AS TO NOT BE ABLE TO STOP A SIMPLE CURSE?" Falling to his knees he got into Fred's face. "YOU, YOU GO AND LEAVE ME HERE TO CLEAN UP YOUR FAMILY MESS? TONKS AND REMUS YOU LEFT A FUCKING CHILD FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I DEFEATED THE DARK LORD AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SAVE YOURSELVES." Harry knew even as he said the words he never meant it, never would but he was so mad at everyone for allowing the people he cared most about to die. "SNAPE'S DEAD, HELL DUMBLEDORE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU. MY PARENT'S BECAUSE NOT ONE OF YOU WOULD STAND AGAINST VOLDEMORT." The sounds of his screams were the only thing that echoed in the hall now. All crying for other lost friends or family members ceased.   
The looks on people's faces were either one of shock or nothing at all... Except his friends, they all looked pitiful. "Don't look at me with pity." He both hissed and growled at them. He stood up and made way for what was left of the dorms. No one spoke and no sound was heard except the rustle of clothes and feet hitting the pavement as people made way for one pissed Harry Potter. 

As he moved to Gryffindor dorms the magnitude of what happened hit Harry full force in the chest. A sobbing shudder wracked his small frame he he fell where he stood to the ground below him. Curling into a ball he looked at the sky. "If there is anyone out there, please forgive me. I'll do anything you want, just let me have my friend back. Please." He pleaded despite knowing no one would be listening. "I just want them back, I'll do anything please. God please give me my friends back." Tears continued to stream down his face until eventually there was nothing left. No tears to be cried, no words to be said. Just a deep darkness he didn't know what to do with.

Eventually Harry pulled himself off the ground and back down the steps. Tears marks evident on his face. No words were said as he and the remaining Weasley's made their way back to the Weasley's household. Once there Harry made his way to the bedroom he and Ron shared when Harry stayed over. Falling face first into the bed with many quiestions Harry would sleep. Get up, eat, sleep. That was all Harry had anymore. No school, no one he needed or wanted to talk to. He didn't talk for weeks afterwards.   
Eventually with the combined help of the Weasley's and Hermione Harry came round'. He was given his personal scrapbook with all the pictures over the years he had taken with his friends. There were even some of Snape that Harry had found, despite not knowing where they came from Harry was happy. As Happy as he could be, but after 11 years he still had bouts of doubt and self-pity but was learning to accept his friend and mentor's deaths and despite knowing he would never get over it, he learned to protect what he had with his life and live for them, in the now.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by http://idk-something-funny-harry-potter.tumblr.com/post/144102053226/sadfishkid-the-fact-that-you-can-feel-pain-like this post on Tumblr, and my own personal experiences.


End file.
